quote

These mountains
that you are
carrying, you were
only supposed to
climb.

 words from Najwa Zebian

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What will remain (of my personal belongings) after I die

One of the reasons that minimalism appeals to me is the profound meaning of living life itself. I believe strongly in the following quote by Joshua Becker:

We were never meant to live life accumulating stuff.  We were meant to live simply enjoying the experiences of life, the people of life, and the journey of life – not the things of life.

To my understanding this represents the true meaning of a life-time and what the result is about. I believe people choose minimalism nowadays because they want to feel freed and they want to experience their happiness now, by stop wasting time and effort on what isn’t important and learn to focus upon what truly matters here and now. Many minimalists have their awakening once they encounter the death of a close someone, realizing all the stuff that this person held on to and experiencing how much of a hassle all this is for the ones you leave behind, to deal with. Not only does it awaken your consciousness of the future and the life of those who will outlive you, you’re also left with the responsibility to make your life meaningful to yourself and others without the overkill of owning a unhealthy amount of stuff.

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Something personal here: I am considering never conceiving my own children and I will write about this topic more in depth eventually hopefully later. But for now, this is a simple fact: I will not find purpose in my life in procreating another life. I find it ethically and morally right to limit myself to my own existence and share my life with those who are already here on earth to find meaning together in this world. I realize that my choice leaves me with the knowledge that everything I own won’t be a heritage to an offspring but it might be taken into use by those who can benefit from my stuff and those who have some sentimental value to my existence (my partner for example, some friends or even my parents if they live long enough). I am well aware that the meaning of your life is limited to what you make out of it, what you pursue, what you give to others and what you radiate (love, inspiration and so on). Nobody will remember you for your stuff, they will remember you despite of your stuff. There is a story going on in my family about an aunt that when she died, everyone was so baffled by how much junk she accumulated and they made fun of her at that moment while cleaning out the house, but even worse: it’s the only way people remember her today. It’s like she never made an impression worth remembering, I imagine she must have been an introvert to the extreme and not even a kind person because instead of sympathy and compassion, people felt the need to mock her illness of hoarding. It somehow always touched me to hear this story of someone I haven’t known personally in my life.

With minimalism I feel like you’re actually aware of mortality and become at peace with the thought even more. Not only because you’re less worried about ‘where your stuff will end after you die’, but also because you become aware of how to live your life during your lifetime, making the most of it, choosing to live happily and healthy instead of wasting your most valuable asset in life: your time.

Try to see the meaningful through the meaningless. Find good in the bad and hold on to what works, to what makes you happy to what keeps you going. Remember the positive in your lifetime and overcome the bad times. Your life is worthy and you should treat it that way, without becoming arrogant. Contribute in any way possible, anything to make you feel valuable without disabling others or let others wreck you. Don’t let people take advantage of your kindness and generosity. Find the balance between giving and not expecting to receive anything without being robbed. Here is a great poem -I shared a while back- that wraps up this topic for now.

a raw organic vegan lipbalm

hurraw

I wasn’t going to write about this product until I realised it’s getting cold outside and new vegans may not be aware of these cruelty-free alternatives. I believe I bought these lip-balms two years ago and I was very excited to have found them: I needed a vegan lip-balm so badly and this was finally available in a physical store nearby. I immediately gave into the temptation and chose two different scents. One with ginger and the other with mint flavor. Honestly there isn’t much to say about the Hurraw! balms other than: they are smooth, cream-like velvet-y on the lips, moisture very well and I got plenty of use out of them. A little bit goes a long way: such a long way that I had them around in my car and handbag for over a year and a half now. I forgot about their raw ingredients and therefore I must add: use these frequently because after a some time (a year and plus) these will go bad eventually. Honestly I should have known better as I mostly buy organic natural products that need to be used before a certain time-frame.

I do believe if you’re in a hurry and you’re not into making your own lip balm: this is possibly the best one, at least I haven’t found a better vegan and cruelty-free lip balm out there yet.

Here is what the company’s website state about these two lip balms: ” We melt in our creamy raw organic coconut oil, rich raw organic cacao butter and emollient cold pressed organic castor oil. We mingle in a trio of flavors from pure essential oils and all natural flavor extracts to create a unique, long lasting, very nourishing lip balm. ”  You should probably take a look at their website because they seem to be very transparent about their products with loads of in-depth information about the ingredient-list and every lip balm is obviously very attractive!

They aren’t cheap but you pay what you get. I would repurchase these for sure, but perhaps this time in another scent and flavor, simply because there are so many options and it’s really tempting to try a new one each time.

note the recipe, not the book

Here is a tip for you.

If you are keeping a book in your collection simply to hold on to a page or two: get rid of the book. Instead, take pictures of those pages, scan them or duplicate the text, preferably digitally. Gain this way actual physical space and freedom as you don’t have to look for that one particular thing between all your other books. I applied this method with a vegetarian cookbook, it was a book that meant nothing for me: there was no sentimental value, it was neither visually nor physically pleasing. I wasn’t fond of the book in any way, except for that one recipe that happened to be a success for us at home and that’s what I chose to keep: just the recipe.

 

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image by
Nick prideaux

introspective decluttering

I admit the whole de-cluttering journey isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. For me it takes a lot of practice to make the slightest progress, whether it’s mentally, physically or emotionally. At the start I wasn’t aware it would entail much trials and errors. Somehow I planned to declutter all my stuff in six months time. That stuff that took more than 20 years to accumulate, I somehow believed that 6 to 12 months would be enough to go through all of that. The reality is: I don’t always have the time nor the energy to dedicate myself fully on this project. Life happens while you make changes for yourself and you have to make room and time to dedicate yourself on your personal goals.

Decluttering is something that happens gradually for me. I was mislead by some minimalism talks and videos I saw before I started my own journey, I saw how others made it look effortlessly, some of them even took a full week or maximum two weeks and that was enough time for them to change their entire life. But that clearly isn’t the case for me here. Of-course I realize now that I was being unrealistic with my ‘goals’ as I should have known that I come from a further place with much more (unresolved) stuff. As a former hoarder my de-cluttering process is taking much longer than expected. I believe that going through this hard effort now, will always remind me to never go back to that crowded lifestyle. Looking at how things came to this point makes me sad that I let it come this far without knowing/realizing, but on the other hand I am really grateful that I am finally doing something about it now. I am finally taking matters into my own hands and taking full responsibility of my own life, without fear. It takes effort, courage and hard work to go trough this mess.

Decluttering thoroughly entails lots of self-realizations, moments of taking a break from it, confronting your issues, experiencing some self-therapy after a big clean-out, and so on and so on. It’s a personal journey into understanding yourself;  how you got here, what made this happen and why it’s hard to get rid of it. They say memorabilia and sentimental objects are the hardest to let go, but that has not been the case for me. In my opinion everything can hold some emotional value, especially if you’ve neglected a part of yourself for too long in that case you emotions will irrevocably be triggered in everything you come across and therefore you will learn about you inner struggles. Because when you decide to declutter your life, you have chose for yourself that it’s time to finally confront your personal demons in order to move forward. De-cluttering is a spiritual journey, the journey of undressing your true self.

It’s about taking time to evaluate your life thus far, see what brought you until here and where you want to go from now on. Deciding your own destination, picking your tools, making room for what’s important to you. Letting yourself breathe out the shit that has been holding you from your personal growth. Breathe out the mental struggles, breath out the emotional clog and say goodbye to what has been disturbing your true peace or happiness.

 

 

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finding your essentials

One of the perks of becoming a minimalist is finding your true likings and be able to cherish them.

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Fun fact: you might not know this but my blog started out as a cosmetic-related one, luckily that changed along with the course of my personal journey.

Not long ago, I went to Lush for a particular product I needed for my winter-dry skin (that I repurchased a few times previously) This wasn’t an impulse buy, but in addition I also treated myself with a new product for my hair. I asked to my favourite Lush assistant to help me out and she gave me her recommendation of a good vegan hair conditioner. I smelled the product and I instantly knew this was going to be a new favourite of mine.

I don’t shop as often as I once did and therefore I truly enjoy my purchases, whereas a few years ago I wouldn’t have gotten much joy out of this. I used to buy lots and lots of skincare, make up, cosmetic tools and I just couldn’t get enough. I am quite embarrassed by how much I owned at one point. It wasn’t until I actually cleared out almost 80% of my stuff that I got a better look at what I truly love using. There was a point in my life where I even used to buy cosmetics just out of curiosity, without truly looking at the ingredients or at the company’s policy and then regretting the purchase afterwards. I was left with many unused stuff and I rationalized my obsessive shopping addiction by claiming that I was writing reviews about these products on my blog. My room was piled with perfumes, nail varnishes etc. and It’s funny how today I don’t need nor use any of that stuff any more. The bathroom counter was always full with products, whereas today I only have a few utilities that can easily be put away to clean the surface: it’s such a blessing now. I know what I like, I use it frequently and I can truly recommend a good product.

Here is another embarrassing story due to having too much stuff: I remember getting a rash at some point and not knowing what specific product caused the allergic reaction, because I used so many of them at once. That was such a low point for me, I knew then that I needed to cut down the use of products and find out what ingredients are working for me and which ones aren’t good for my skin type. We are constantly being told by advertising, the media, companies.. to “need” more than 1 or 2 products for taking care of your skin and hair, but that is really overdo.

I remember feeling liberated by getting rid of almost all my skincare products, I reduced all that stuff to just a few ones and I know now ‘if it doesn’t work for me or I don’t like it: get rid of it, give it away or give it back’. Do not let it sit on your bathroom counter looking at you, waiting for your attention to be removed. Give yourself a break and use only what is good for you. Don’t waste your time with stuff you don’t need. And when in doubt: ask for a sample of a certain product before making the full purchase.

The photograph in this article is one I took a few years ago
  and never got around using it.

decluttering trash (despite of the environment)

I always wished that stores would take back the trash of their used-up products. Even when it comes to food-packages or worn out shoes with holes, I believe stores or at least the manufacturers should take their responsibilities for creating non-recyclable or non-biodegradable trash in the end.

I’ve watched a interesting talk a few days ago, from a man called Thomas Rau (you can watch it here, but it is unfortunately in Dutch). The man has an interesting outlook on circular economy. He believes costumers aren’t interested in the ownership of some products, he feels that people buy things to use them, not to own them. Therefore people should pay for the use of things and manufacturers should provide quality products to establish a profitable and sustainable economy. For example: a person who buys a lamp just want to have light in his room, that person doesn’t want to own a lamp but he simply wants to enlighten his place. Rau believes that companies should provide their costumers the service of the use of their appliances. In this way, costumers shouldn’t be concerned about quality or recycling, because companies would eventually provide their best possible quality as the product still belongs to them in the end. It’s an interesting theory I believe and  I hope companies would listen to this man’s ideas to improve their ways.

During my decluttering journey, I really encountered my dread and loathing of throwing things away that sadly had to end up on a junk-yard. My respect for the environment really stood in the way of my personal progress, because for such a long time I couldn’t throw things away that were no longer loved and won’t be used afterwards. I have the perfect example, that is also a true story: I used to own a large teddy bear that I had to throw out eventually. I really wanted to find a kid who could benefit from this toy, but I also realized that this bear had been collecting dust for the last two decades and that this toy wouldn’t be safe to use. Sadly this bear was too large to go into a washing machine and it wasn’t made out of good quality either to even survive a hand-washing. When I was ready to part with it, mentally and emotionally accepting its fate, I threw it on a container and I was physically freed at last. I know I tried really hard to come up with a better solution, but unfortunately this was in the end the only thing to do. I couldn’t sleep well for the first few nights, my guilt really can’t be quieted down easily. I do know that I’m overly sensitive about this, because in the end nobody bothers this much about trash like I do. And I wasn’t even responsible for getting that bear in the first place. It was a gift at my birth I believe. At least I can ease my heart knowing that I learned some valuable lessons there. I will no longer buy compulsively stupid unsustainable products, I won’t gift someone a poor quality product and I must think ahead about the use and the longevity of a product before purchasing it.

In loving memory of the huge bear

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